Amy’s Licensed Psilocybin Journey: From Anxiety to Awe
Oregon’s new licensed psilocybin services are creating a safe, legal space for profound inner work. Many people wonder, “What actually happens during a legal magic mushroom journey? Is it safe? Will I feel anxious?”
Amy, a mindful corporate executive and spiritual seeker, allowed us to record an integration interview three weeks after her guided psilocybin journey with myself, Cate Ritter (Prism Bend) at Bendable service center in downtown Bend, OR. In the 48-minute conversation below, Amy describes moving from pre-journey anxiety to a heart-opening “life review” that left her feeling lighter, clearer and deeply at peace.
What You’ll Hear:
How her prep letters to the mushrooms shaped the entire experience
A vivid, “psychedelic showtime” of colors, dragons and diamonds
Messages about ego and connection
Zero anxiety despite a history of panic attacks
Lasting insights on purpose, boundaries and joyful living
Listen to Amy’s Full 48-Min Interview
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CATE: Great. So today (11/11/24) I'm here with Amy and I'm going to ask her some questions. Amy was here in Bend, OR for a psilocybin journey about three weeks ago.
We did two hours of preparation sessions over Zoom, a full journey day at a local service center, Bendable Therapy’s service center called Bendable. And then we finished off with two hours of integration support over Zoom. So welcome to the space, Amy, and thanks so much for sharing your beautiful energy and presence with us.
AMY: Thank you. I'm glad to be here.
CATE: First question: What inspired you to do a licensed psilocybin journey? If you don't mind sharing a bit about what called you to work with psilocybin and why now?
AMY: Sure. Well, I had read some wonderful literature on the topic a few years back and it really piqued my interest. And then as you began your journey in this facilitation and work, I just became more and more interested in it, not only for myself, but just in general for others, as I also work in some healing areas for people and thought, how could this perhaps help me continue on my healing and transformation journey in a different way than things like therapy or yoga or Reiki? And also I felt that there might be some, how would you say, messages from the medicine on things that were at a level much deeper than my conscious or even subconscious, you know, mind could understand that would just help me continue to grow and live a very rich and peaceful and joyful life.
CATE: I love that. And I know it might sound strange to some, but not to us, especially now, but I remember mentioning to you that the moment you agree to work with psilocybin, psilocybin starts working with you, right? Did you notice any of those signs, you know, even before our first prep session? I think you might have noticed how some of these things were coming up kind of gentle nudges or, you know, whispers in a certain direction, right? Guiding you towards some of these things too, that you wanted to focus on for your journey.
AMY: Absolutely. So many years ago, probably 40 years ago, I had had a recreational experience with psilocybin or with mushrooms and it wasn't really positive. And so I had a little bit of anxiety about this, even though I know from many case studies and people I've heard from in this very thoughtful environment and well-trained facilitation, it's usually completely different.
I still had a little bit of anxiety that I might, you know, have a bad trip or whatever you want to call it. And so early on, I started getting messages really kind of just, they just came in not to worry about that, to just trust in the process. And so my anxiety just kind of went away, which was interesting and good.
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AMY: And then I started to do the process of writing the letters to the mushrooms. Would you like me to share about the dream I had?
CATE: Oh, whatever you're willing to share.
AMY: So the night after I wrote the letter to the mushrooms, and I had written about a variety of things. One was, you know, really to kind of continue to not take on other people's burdens and to live a more joyful life in the present moment, not to be overly responsible, you know, to forgive any people that I was holding on to areas, you know, where I needed to, etc. And in the dream, the first dream that I had, I was woken.
It was kind of like first thing in the morning where you're half conscious, half asleep still. And I saw myself standing in like a white room that looked like a laboratory. And above me was a conveyor belt.
And I had all these Christmas boxes that were wrapped beautifully. And each one had a different name, like joy, peace. And then some said, hurt, anger, grief.
And the message from the mushroom says, don't pick up other people's burdens, only carry your own, you know, things which to focus on joy and peace. And I thought that was really interesting because it was just a beautiful visual of what was yet to come when I went through this experience, but also some of the deep learnings that I would lean into and focus on as I went through the journey. And it also was a little bit of humor too mixed in there to lighten things up and to laugh a little so you could go into it and say, wow, I'm really excited about what this might bring and recognize areas for your own development.
CATE: Yeah, I love that. That's so cool too. And so too, for anyone listening that doesn't know, I’ll give you a little backtrack.
I highly recommend that you work on a couple of writing prompts that I send you before your journey. And they're on my website on the preparation section for psilocybin journeys. And that's one, writing forgiveness letters. Write to yourself, to others, anyone you want to forgive, but there's a slight twist on it, right? That it's more from your perspective than the other persons and what you would like them to say.
And then the second exercise is writing the letter to the mushrooms, getting to know them, kind of introducing yourself, writing your intentions, any questions you have. And Amy did excellent homework as part of her preparation. And do you mind sharing Amy, during your journey, it seemed like the mushrooms were what kind of like going through your letter, but also with quite a bit of humor too, of like, well, you asked for this, right?
AMY: Absolutely. In fact, I was surprised at how thoughtfully they went through my letter, kind of even in the same sequence of the things that I asked for. So, you know, some of the, the things that they showed me were how I was showing up in the world with others in areas that I wanted to work for and work in and, you know, for my development. And they would show me those in the same order that I had written them.
And also in the areas where I asked for forgiveness, they went deep with those particular people and showed me what their heart and soul were feeling. And then when I would maybe, as I was going through the journey, as I was experiencing these deep and profound feelings from others that felt very kind of bi-directional, like I was feeling their heart and soul while they were feeling mine, sometimes you would, it would just be like overwhelming. And then they would, the mushrooms would give you like a little joke or something light to lighten it for a moment and remind you and tease you a little bit about your own nature so that you could get out of your head and just follow along the journey.
So I thought it was just spectacular that the pre-work that I did, I felt like I was very heard and listened to by a dear friend.
CATE: Good. And, and so you felt well-prepared before your journey? You felt like the prep sessions were sufficient in helping you kind of get comfortable and feel confident with the process?
AMY: Yeah. And, you know, it was interesting about it. I don't even know if it was the actual prep sessions, like you would think of preparing for a meeting work or preparing for a counseling session, even it was probably what was happening and the way you described it to me is, you know, the mushrooms are always there working and that they'll start working once they know your intention. It was more of a, this deep connection that you feel with everything where that was already starting to manifest in ways that I couldn't really fully understand. So it's not the way you think of it, like, Oh, I prepared my homework so I did good on a test or like, wow, I put myself out there to be open to this experience that I really couldn't understand until I did it. And the work began right away. And it was sort of like a comforting sweet process of being held and cared for before I even got to see Cate on the day of the journey.
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CATE: Yeah. And so you mentioned too, there was some potential like anxiety before, especially not having, you know, experienced psilocybin in this kind of therapeutic manner compared to say recreationally in the past. How did you feel like that anxiety unfolded throughout your journey? Did you, did you feel the anxiety peaking at any point? Did you feel it present during the journey? Did it kind of diminish? Like what was your experience with anxiety and even kind of the initial fear that you experienced coming into it?
AMY: I would say I really didn't have any anxiety, which was fantastic.
And I'm an anxious person I've had throughout the years, a little bit of probably brain chemistry that learns towards excitatory and anxious. And so I've had, you know, occasional panic attacks or from the time I was a young child, I remember my mom always said I had nervous energy because we didn't have a word for anxiety back then. So that's kind of my body, my chemistry and how I show up. But I didn't have any.
The experience was very peaceful from the minute you walk in the door to I had tea, which was lovely. Cate, I have to remind me what was in that tea.
It was so good, but it was warm and cozy. And the mushrooms were powder was just sprinkled in there. And it felt beautiful.
Like I just, even as I was sipping the tea, that was calming, the room was calming. And when I very first started to feel it come on for just a minute, I felt like this slight little shift. It was kind of like when you're putting your car into first gear and they're like, Cate, I think it's starting to happen.
And she's like, okay, you want to go to the bathroom, which I did, but then it wasn't scary. It was just like, oh, I'm starting to go there. And I laid down and relaxed.
And although it was very heightened in the beginning with lots of psychedelic color and images and the music sometimes heightened your experience, it was never anxious. It was, you know, definitely peaked in ways to, to make you kind of get out of yourself and realize, you know, there's this whole other world out there, spiritual world and realms, but it wasn't ever scary or my heart beat never felt like it was beating too fast or I couldn't breathe. I had none of that.
CATE: Good. Thank you for sharing all that.
Okay. And so it's, it's been about three weeks since your journey. And do you mind, you kind of touched on some of these things in the previous questions, but do you mind sharing a little bit more about your journey, like any of the visuals, anything you feel comfortable sharing with anyone else? Anything that you learned about yourself learned about life, anything you might've released from the experience on behalf of yourself or others, anything there about your journey that you want to share more about?
AMY: Sure. So I remember going in, you had shared that sometimes the medicine will come to you in waves. And so I was kind of anticipating waves, like the ocean where it would come and peak and go. I didn't quite have that, but what it felt like to me was more like I laid down, I put my eye mask on…
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AMY: And for the first, it seemed like hour and a half, although I had no track of time, it was just like an explosion of psychedelic showtime where I saw the most magical and beautiful, like lizards and dragons and colors that aren't even on this earth with diamonds. And it wasn't scary or odd. It was just, it was magical.
And I felt like I was just watching it on a big screen. And then as I was watching it and there was music, I couldn't even tell you what it was, but the music kind of directed the energetic flow of what you were seeing. But you weren't just seeing these images and like, wow, that's cool and beautiful.
They had like a deep spiritual meaning. And just as an example, one moment, there were these dragons that would look like they were kind of mating and going back and forth and dancing. And yet the message that they were giving me is that it's about this beautiful power struggle between like a man and a woman, or it could be anybody, but that in life, as we're in relationship with others, we often have these power struggles and they're kind of unnecessary, but that's like our ego state that we become stuck in.
And if we can release those and relax, then we can develop this open, loving relationships, which was really interesting because part of what I wrote in my letter was to not be controlling and to trust more because I can tend to be like that. And it showed me this, but it also was with a little bit of humor where it was like, yeah, that's you, the one over there who's not letting go of the power. It was just crazy, like the depth of knowledge that was coming through.
You can't just lay down and have that thought. It was showing me with imagery and beauty, deep kind of wisdom about the human experience and our ego and how we go through life, which may or may not be real, depending on what you consider to be real once you go through this experience. And so that left me with just sort of an awe of being more aware of that.
LAYERS OF AWARENESS
And then I just went from there into several other, what I would call like a door would open and close. I went into kind of what I would call a mysterious realm of layers of the earth. It showed like layers of our earth with, if you can imagine in your mind's eye, beautiful, craggy, like different colors of rock formations and over the years.
But then within each layer were these different civilizations or spiritual beings. And one was like the little people with all these folks coming out under toadstools and magic working. And then, you know, and as I was watching them, the message there was like, we get so caught up in like our life here and like, what am I doing today? And what happened at work or what's going, not being aware that we're connected to all this universal energy, which could be different life forms on different planets or in different things we can't even imagine in our brain of layers of life forms or soul energy or spirit that exists beyond our presence.
And so it makes you feel not just that connectedness that Cate talked about, but sort of like an awe of how small we can be in the world and yet how connected to all these things. So as I went through sort of all these layers, then it brought me finally to what, I don't know if it seemed like six or seven layers of spiritual realities. I kind of came into my world and that was where I spent quite a bit of a time.
Although, I wasn't here in Bend, OR. I was in this beautiful oasis of what looked like, I don't know, Western old, old, wild, wild Western country. And I was, you know, riding through on a horse and I was a regal queen on a horse with, again, everything's still very bright and colorful on my clothing, bejeweled and leathers were deep, rich and suede's were caramel brown.
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AMY: And then that's when I felt this warm, like kind of caramel gooey, loving energy of other beings around me. And all the, not all the people, but hundreds of people in my life came forward to kind of share their loving experience with me and what that felt like. And a few prominent people were right by my side.
One of them was one of my long time best friends and also a ex-partner, who's now a friend again, but has been an instrumental person in my life, was by my side riding along on a horse. And again, he's in like this gorgeous, like the colors are outrageous, beautiful brown leathers and light suede's. And the message he was sharing was how he had a contract to come in with me to protect me in this lifetime.
And then the humor came in again. It'd be like, but sometimes it's really hard because you don't take care of you. But you know, he was just going along with me the whole way.
And he was, he is kind of a quiet person who doesn't demand really attention or anything, but he was just quietly there always letting me know that he was there to protect me and in my life and that we had this soul contract. Then on my other side was my son who was in on a horse as well, riding along beside me with these beautiful light suede colors and his blonde hair was kind of flowing in the wind. And he was saying, you know, the same thing.
I'm here to protect you, mom. You know, he came in later when I no longer had at least his, the way he was sharing his soul. When I no longer had a man in my life, he felt the need as a young man to step up and protect me.
And he was stepping along beside me again, very gently. And so the message of these two male energies was what I would imagine divine masculine to really be not the way our society thinks of, you know, macho and, and tough and, you know, all American, you know, don't show your feelings and don't cry. It was the opposite of like these deeply loving souls that were loyal protectors of the queen and would lay down their sword and die for you.
That kind of love and loyalty and sweetness, a very beautiful divine masculine energy that I was flanked with on either side of, as I went through my life. And then I had other people that were close to me. Cate was one of them.
Also my sister who represented like little birds or angels that were light energy, but flying near me and around me, but again, not interfering with my life path. So these people that I love and care so much for were there with me, but there was like a sacred contract not to get in the way of my life path, but to witness it with me, if you will. And then I had many people come up.
My ex-husband came and came in as like a horse, a knight on a horse, again, all bejeweled with bright blue and ruby colors. And he came in really hot and heavy trying to protect me, but he blew up and burnt and exploded on the earth, which kind of was a representation of our marriage. But what was so sad and I really cried hard was that I could feel his energy and his sort of remorse and grief over not being able to be there.
And the message I had from that was, he was so sorry that he wasn't able to hold my energy in our relationship. And then from there, there were just sisters and cousins and nephews and nieces and friends. One of my really good friends who I'm so close to, we couldn't be any closer, she has kind of a spicy personality. She showed up with her hands on her hips and said, what about me? Thank you. And so then she kind of shared. But as I say they were sharing, it wasn't like the words were actually being uttered.
You just heard their and felt their truth. Like it was a wisdom being handled right into your heart and your mind. And so that went on for a series of things.
And in the period of time, then I started crying really heavily because I could just feel their grief and pain and sort of aware of the misunderstandings you some have in these relationships where you can hold onto a resentment or you feel hurt or you felt betrayed.
LIFE REVIEW & INSIGHTS
You can just see their heart and their experience. And so in that moment, there's so much forgiveness or there's so much depth of understanding for who they are as a person and what your relationship meant and why you had to go through the things that you went through.
And it's sort of like a life review in the most beautiful way, leaving you with a feeling of peace and understanding of all the things that have happened in your life.
CATE: Yeah. Wow! It does sound like the mushrooms got to work, right? And they were going through your letter and your list, your intentions, and then quite a few, like this whole review with each person and relationship too. Did you feel like you were able to release emotions during this journey? Did you feel a bit lighter afterwards? How were your kind of feelings throughout? Did you feel safe and supported throughout? Were there any moments where it felt overwhelming or scary? Anything for anyone listening that's never done this before about what went through in your experience?
AMY: Yeah. Toward the latter part of the journey, I released a lot of emotions.
In fact, I sobbed like a baby and had so much snot coming out of my nose that Cate had to go through like two Kleenex boxes, which is not normal for me. I feel stuff, but I don't usually let it out in that manner. I usually feel things much later after an experience and kind of hold them in and then slowly let them out.
It was very much a release of, I would say grief is probably one of the strongest words, holding on to hurts for a long time, letting them go. Also, I could feel all the other people that came to see me, I could feel their grief and pain. Sometimes those were the hardest.
For example, my mother-in-law who had lost her husband, my ex-mother-in-law, who I'm really close to, showed me the grief she was going through and I could just feel it in my body. I had to purge it out of my body, but the medicine wanted me to know how she was feeling. I had that with many people.
CATE: Yeah. It seemed like you almost also from when I checked in with you, teaching other people how to deal with their grief in order for you to also release it, not just from yourself, but on behalf of them as well. Not just taking everyone's grief on, but also like, hey, here's how to do it. Is that correct?
AMY: Yeah. The messages also came in that I had a life path here where I had agreed to be a teacher and a counselor for men and women, but also to teach, I spent my life in corporate America in a high-powered executive role and to teach the young men and women how to lead more with what I would consider like the divine feminine. With collaboration and loving kindness and care, and when you're in the corporate, when only people care about earnings per share, it's usually not like that.
LIFE-CHANGING SHIFTS
Part of it was this message that went through, weaved through everything is that I've been brought in to be a teacher, to help and guide and lift other people up. In so doing, I can carry their burdens with me, like that dream I had the night after I wrote the letter showed. It was an interesting combination of showing you have this life purpose and this mission.
You were meant to do this work, feel confident and free to do this work, and yet, don't take on their burdens. Understand how to feel and be compassionate and relate and be connected to that person in that moment, and then what's theirs is theirs and what's yours is yours, and then you go on. That was really clear and super important for me.
Although I knew it intellectually, to get that at a soul level is completely life-changing and has really changed the way I look at my life and my relationships every day since the journey.
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CATE: If you were to describe your journey in a word or phrase, what might that be?
AMY: I think I said this after, but it was a deep reverence for life. We can go through this life doing. I do, at least, I shouldn't say about others. I'm very much a human doing instead of a human being, busy, work, raising kids, full social life, volunteering in the community, etc. I have the capacity to be a very deep empath, and yet, I can also flip a switch and go into doing mode.
It was just showing that when we just look outside at nature and see the beauty of the landscape, rivers, trees, or the beauty of a human being standing in front of us telling us their story, or whatever it is, just to have this deep reverence for love, life, loyalty, to see the beauty mostly in our relationships and not get caught up in stories that play in our head about why they hurt us or how we hurt them.
I used to say, how come I've never had a deep, long-lasting romantic relationship? After this experience, they showed me the ones that I've had and the beauty of them and what they meant. Some people might not ever have those beauties.
I just felt really profound peace around not having to have my journey a certain way and to just have reverence for life, relationships, and the deep connection that we actually all have.
CATE: Good. The interconnectedness. Yeah. Also, I will bring up, that I usually encourage clients to bring in memorabilia, items like crystals or photos.
ALTAR ITEMS TO BRING TO YOUR JOURNEY
Do you want to share any of the items that you brought into the journey space? If those were helpful to have there on our altar table as you journeyed, we'll mention the feather too that you brought, but do you mind sharing any of those items just for people that are on the fence about whether or not they should bring anything into their journey space and how those might've helped your experience?
AMY: Absolutely. I'm holding the feather right now as I'm talking to you with crystals on my desk, but I brought in some of my favorite crystals. Not all of them because I have many, but a couple of large ones and some smaller ones and put them around the area where I was lying down.
I had cleansed them the night before in the moonlight so they were fresh. I also brought in pictures of my children, my parents, and this very special feather that I have, the man that I spoke of earlier, who's probably been my most profound connection other than my children during this lifetime. He gave it to me when I was in a really difficult time, probably, I don't know, eight years ago or so.
He found it and he just felt called to run over to my house right then and bring it to me. Anyway, I've always kept it by my bedside and really close because it's this beautiful feather. I have a reverence for Native American spiritual energy and feathers.
I brought it with me. While I was there, I had this really deep experience just looking at the feather and my relationship with him. It's a brown and white striped hawk feather, I believe, but in between each of the stripes, the feather separates a little bit or can.
As I was going through these feelings of my relationship with him and the love and the grief and the hurt and the joy and all the things, at each separation of the feather where it wasn't joined together, I remember just taking my thumb and pointer finger and smoothing the feather. As I was doing that, it was like I was healing each of those fragments where we hurt each other or we had broken our bond.
Again, it felt bi-directional. I felt like he was feeling it. I was repairing that love bond, not that we're getting back together or anything like that. The pain and suffering that we went through was like the knowledge was being shared between the two of us as I was holding that feather and healing it.
When I came out of that, I remember looking at it and remembering he actually had that same feather tattooed on his forearm. That was just one example. It was a way of grounding me because you're going through such an experience.
Sometimes it feels a little out of body. You do feel that for sure in the beginning, but as you go through it and you're starting to get more alert of your surroundings around you, it was a very grounding experience for me to have something from home that I treasure to touch and to bring me back into my world and then also have that sweet energy of someone I love close to me there in that moment. That's just one.
Also, I remember glancing over at the pictures of my children, very beautiful, my parents.
One thing I didn't bring that I really loved were the plants in the room. Because energetically, when I took the mask off to look at them, you could just feel the life and the energy of the plants supporting you. That was really sweet. And then later, looking out the window, seeing the energy of the trees, the beautiful fall colors, it was very grounding and made me feel safe as well.
CATE: Yeah, I loved having our fall journey because of all the changing colors and then there's a prism on one of the windows too. So at the beginning of your journey, it was like there was rainbows all over the room. And then you could see the shadows of the leaves kind of dancing. And it just felt magical from my perspective as well.
You've been going through the experience that you're going through. But can you share a little bit more about how you felt in the service center space, right? So those people that don't know the service center is where we have the journey, right? You're not allowed to just journey at home. It's not like cannabis where you get it and you do it in your living room. This is a controlled, safe, supportive setting and environment. The service center is where Amy had her actual psilocybin journey.
And it was at Bendable Therapy’s service center called Bendable, designed by Sam Georgie, who she could be an interior designer. It's kind of almost got this like retro grandma feel to it with lots of clothes and colors and live plants.
So Amy, tell us how you felt about the space, even from the moment you walked in, right? How did you feel in that space?
THE SERVICE CENTER SPACE AT BENDABLE
AMY: Sure. So I was dropped off by an Uber just because you don't want to drive yourself home after the experience. And so the minute I was, I just remember looking at this really cool house and older historic neighborhood and the kind of rock wall and entryway felt very warm and inviting. And coming into like a cute older historic home versus like a clinical lab felt like I was just going to my grandma's house or something, as you stated.
But you go in, you're greeted by the person who, I don't know what her role is, but basically helps facilitate with Cate, just the paperwork and getting you set up and in and out and all of that.
CATE: Service center representative, we call them among many other names.
AMY: They were super professional, very warm and inviting, brought me in and walked me through, you know, take your shoes up here and then saw Cate right away and walked into the room, which the colors were very warm and inviting, beautiful.
It's cozy of a place, a couch to sit and a fridge to, store your things that you brought, also tuck away your personal belongings. And then a really neat area where you will be laying down in the journey that's low to the ground, comfy bedding where the blankets were warm and cozy. And then the plants are all around you with this gorgeous light and all leaves and sparkling sunshine coming in.
So it just felt really comfortable and also cozy. That would be the word I would use to describe it. So that sort of started that warm, gooey, caramel feeling that I felt throughout the journey of safety and took away any potential residual anxiety that I might've had.
And then as you go into the other room, there's more space for kind of like, it would be a dining room. And then you go into the bathroom that was all warm near the floors, kind of creak like an old house do, which added to the charm and the warmth. And then I guess last, just any chance you needed to, if you needed to, get up and go to the bathroom or whatever, all of that felt easy to access.
Later when you wanted to have a bite to eat or some food, nothing felt like it was out of reach. And Cate is there the whole time to meet any of your needs. And she’ll tell you right up front, that's why she's there.
Don't be afraid to ask or whatever you need. So I sensed her presence there the entire time. And there were a few times when she would interact, but mostly she just allows you to go on your journey, but you never feel alone or frightened. At least I didn't. I have to speak for myself.
I never felt alone or frightened or uncomfortable, not for one moment, the entire time I was in that beautiful space.
CATE: I just love that space. Just as much as the participants themselves, I feel like it's such a nice space to be able to have a journey and to hold space as well.
THE MUSIC — A SOUNDTRACK FOR YOUR SOUL
And how did you feel about the music? Have you been able to listen to your psilocybin playlist, which I send all clients after their journey, just to help with integration. Any comments on the music at all?
AMY: The music was incredible. I didn't want to interfere with it.
So Cate, you know, curated it herself. And it was incredible. I did listen to it fully. I don't know, maybe a week or two ago. And I listened to the first half at home. And then I took it with me on a walk through, you know, nature, which was really neat.
I was trying to remember as I listened to it, like which part of that fantastic journey that I went on was what in certain parts, I could remember, oh, that's when this happened, like the dance, I told you between the dragons with the power struggle. And that music came on, I knew exactly. And then other parts, but others, I didn't, but it just it, it kind of brings you back to that state of being of where you were.
And sometimes when you go back into your real world, and you're going to work or you're, you know, going to the grocery store, you get back into the world that we live in, which you need to have, you know, a way of being that's different in the world. But the music is just kind of a reminder. So like, one day, the day I listened to that, I was having a little bit of a stressful like, work was a little crazy.
And I wanted to remember that we're all connected. And this is a sacred life and kind of get grounded in why I'm really here. And the minute I started listening to the music, it kind of brought me back like that, like music does, like, you know, if you just listen to your favorite song from when you first fell in love, or whatever, it takes you back to that time and space and reminds you of the lessons and the things that you learned. And you feel it kind of in your body.
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PSILOCYBIN INTEGRATION
CATE: Absolutely. I love that. Thanks for sharing that. Okay, so it has been three weeks. What shifts and changes have you noticed since your journey?
AMY: I've been more introspective, and intentionally spent more time alone, hiking, meditating, going to yoga. I'm a very social person with a big family and lots of friends. And often I'm surrounded by people. But I really wanted to take the time to integrate and not do those things.
So the first week (of integration), I pretty much did that I was either cooking really wholesome foods at home, soups, and really grounding stews and things like that, and doing yoga at home and listening to calming music or meditating, etc.
I did have a couple visits with friends during that time, but very mellow, like go for coffee and a walk. And I started sort of integrating more into going to my yoga class at the studio or going to a barre class. And I felt fine and didn’t feel uncomfortable.
It's not like I was such a changed person that I couldn't go back into my normal life. But but I felt sort of like these things that I'd gone through, even though I'm sharing them here, were so private and so profound, I didn't really feel the need to tell a lot of people about what I went through. And I really only shared it with maybe three people, a girlfriend, my son, and the person that I was telling you about that we have the feather in the long life bond and friendship.
And other than that, I've just kind of kept it private. It's like my own reverence, my own sacred experience. And it's not that I'm afraid to share it.
But it's so personal. And it's so profound that it doesn't just come up in daily conversation when you might be out doing something else. And I'm just going to randomly start talking about dragons or anything.
So when you see, at the grocery store, this reminds me of something in my journey. For that, no, all I learned my life purpose is to help integrate the divine feminine into the divine masculine in corporate America, you know, they'd be like, what the heck? Kind of your inside joke with the mushrooms, I think on a lot of these things, too.
CATE: Yeah, absolutely. And have the integration sessions and those resources been helpful?
AMY: Yeah, in fact, I'm kind of a geek. So after I started reading a lot of the things that Cate sent, I also just started listening to some Huberman podcasts and different things on psilocybin, the health benefits, the changes in your neuroplasticity, and like your tendrils, and all of this stuff, because I'm getting older.
And I want to make sure that my brain and my cognitive capabilities are strong, and I'm continuing to grow new synapses and all these things. So I geeked out on a lot of that, which was really neat and cool. And, really just wanted to kind of open my mind to all of the ways that this could help me in physical, spiritual, mental ways of being in my life.
So I've appreciated the follow up that Cate provides for integration, but then take it into your own hands. And whether that be some sort of a mind-body-spirit work that you do through meditation, or yoga, or hiking, whatever works for you is super good to do.
And then also give yourself time and space if you're a busy person, like I tend to be, to just feel the feels and experience that beautiful reverence that maybe you might only feel in a profound moment, like a church in Italy, or you know, certain moments when you just all time and space stops, and you can feel the beauty and the love of this sort of interconnected world that we live in. Take time, so you can remember that, and then you can come back to it when you need it.
AMY’S ADVICE TO JOURNEYERS
CATE: Beautiful, I love that. And, you know, you're kind of on a roll here. Is there anything you would advise someone who has never had this type of experience before anything that you have to suggest or say this really helped? What would your advice be to someone potentially considering this that's on the fence to?
AMY: Sure. Well, I think like everything in life, you get really clear with your intentions before you go in, because intentions are thought forms that are vibrational energy that I believe the medicine will connect with or other forms of healing can connect with that intention. So take time up front in a quiet space to really think about what your intention is, what do you want from the journey, you could be as broad or as specific as you want in that, then journal about it, write the letters and give yourself, space and time to let those little changes start happening before you show up for your journey. And if they haven't, you know, don't stress, but maybe they're happening and you're just not even aware.
And then I think when you're there, just don't try to control things like Cate's great at selecting the music, let her do that. There's a reason and a kind of a smart process for how they lay that out as you go through the journey.
Bring in some things that make you feel safe about home, but just trust, you know, be open to what's meant to be and know that you're really safe with Cate and she's so well trained and so easy to be with.
If you don't know her, that'll be a bright spot in the entire journey, just her calm, peace and tender, caring nature. So I would just say, you know, be open, don't try to control things, be true to your intention before you go in. And then, you know, afterwards, give yourself time and space to integrate that into your life.
POST-JOURNEY REFLECTIONS
CATE: Okay, I love that. One final question, would you ever have another therapeutic psilocybin journey again?
AMY: I would! I'm not opposed to it all. I don't feel the need to do it right away because I've done a lot of work in other ways. And then this was sort of like the capstone of really helping me see things that I was leaning into already. I did not come into this with a great deal of trauma or experiences that were specific to like really hard, hard, how would I say, things to grapple with as you're going through this.
Mine were more sort of relationships, you know, how do you love better? How do you show up better? And so that all came in really clear and well, and helped with some forgiveness and some resentments and those sorts of things. I don't know, it's a hard, it's a, it's a tough question, Cate.
CATE: Well, it's good that it's a non addictive, and you don't feel the need to do it next week or anything like that.
It's like you kind of got your homework, your soul work to work on and integrate after this journey. And I guess my main, my final question, if I'll just sneak in one more, do you feel like this journey has helped you enjoy your life more?
AMY: I mean, for sure. Again, I've been doing a lot of work to do that as I've gotten older, not putting so much of my focus on work and outcomes.
And one of the things that I also wrote in the letter is to try not to be so focused on my performance and perfectionism and achievements, because I kind of came into the world that way and to let go of those. So I've been doing that work already, but it really made me kind of put those in perspective, that that's not why we're here. Those are things that we can do.
And by all means, sometimes be proud of those things. But the real reason that we're here is for these relationships, these connections, love, you know, all the things that you may hear, whatever your spiritual belief is. That's the purpose of being here, our deep love and connection with other people and growing probably in our soul and our spirit is the main reason for our presence here on earth at this time.
PSILOCYBIN AS A TEACHER & TOOL
CATE: Yeah, I love this too, because, you know, I think of psilocybin as a teacher and a tool. Like, if you show up and do the work, psilocybin will work with you, right? But kind of like you're also saying, psilocybin is not going to do the work for you. You still need to be doing these other things and taking care of yourself and being proactive and mindful. But if you use this teacher in this tool in this way, it can really benefit you in a lot of different areas.
AMY: Yes. And one thing I would say is prior to this, I've done some work with people that have experienced trauma, either through a lifetime of addiction and or abuse from family members, things like that. And as I've worked with them and thought about some of the things they shared with me, I could only imagine how this experience could help. Or even if you've gone through, a terrible divorce recently or lost a child, I mean, I can only imagine those sorts of traumas, this journey might really help you in a way that you'd never even imagined, because it gets us out of our kind of our headspace and into our profound heart space of why we're here, what's our sort of purpose, if you will, which we often all struggle with, and how we live out in that divinity with others.
So I think that higher spiritual realm or that soulful space is very healing, if you've had any kind of past trauma.
CATE: Thank you for sharing that.
CONCLUSION
Thank you for sharing everything from your journey, preparation to integration. I really appreciate you not only doing your inner work, but also sharing your experience throughout the process, Amy. Anything else that you'd like to share before we end our call today?
AMY: I would just say if you're having any apprehension about doing this, and you feel that you might be anxious, I had that too, and I wasn't, so just trust.
And I think most people would have the most wonderful experience as I did, if you just go in with following Cate's guidance, and then trust everything would unfold as it's meant to for you in that moment.
CATE: Thank you, Amy, and much, much love to you. I look forward to connecting with you again soon, and I really appreciate you being here.
AMY: You as well, Cate, thank you. Okay, well, take care.
Quick Timeline
00:00 – 05:00 – Prep & Intentions
Why Amy chose a licensed journey and her intentions.
05:12 – 09:19 – Writing to the Mushrooms
Using a Dear Psilocybin letter to prime the experience.
09:20 – 10:30 – Come-Up: Zero Anxiety
“It felt like gently shifting a car into first gear.”
12:05 – 15:30 – Psychedelic Showtime
Dragons, diamonds, and multi-colored realms unfolding on an inner big screen.
20:25 – 20:50 – Life Review
Warm “caramel” energy, forgiveness, and deep relational insight.
23:36 – 24:36 – Core Insight
Realizing her larger purpose as a teacher and guide.
30:47 – 34:55 – Service-Center Vibe
Safe, cozy setting with “retro-grandma” decor and live plants.
34:55 – 36:26 – Music as Guide
How the playlist guided emotions and supports integration.
40:49 – 42:53 – Advice for First-Timers
Set intentions, trust the process, and feel safe with a professional facilitator.
44:50 – 47:03 – Bigger Purpose & Take-Aways
Deep love, connection, and greater enjoyment of everyday life.
How We Prepared & Why it Matters
At Prism Bend, as part of our legal psilocybin journey process, I meet with clients for two 1-hour Zoom Psilocybin Preparation Sessions to get ready for their journey. With Amy, we focused on a few areas that really stood out during her psilocybin journey.
Clarify intentions
Write forgiveness letters
Write a “Dear Mushrooms” letter
Decades of clinical research show that clear intention-setting and a trusted facilitator are two of the largest predictors of positive outcomes.¹
Learn more in my overview of psilocybin research. Amy later shared that the medicine “walked through my letter point by point,” confirming the power of thoughtful psilocybin preparation.
Inside the Licensed Service Center
Location: Bendable Service Center, a historic home in downtown Bend, OR
Team: A licensed facilitator (myself) and a service center representative
Music: A curated soundtrack for your soul, your hero’s journey playlist
→ Why Prism Bend Offers Oregon’s Best Psilocybin Journeys
Dose: < 25 mg psilocybin powder, served as a ceremonial tea
→ Learn More About Psilocybin Dosing in Oregon
From the moment Amy entered, she noticed “soft light, living plants and a warm, cozy tea” that calmed her nervous system. Within minutes of onset she reported no anxiety—remarkable given her lifelong tendency toward “nervous energy.”
What Integration Looks Like
We met for two 1-hour Psilocybin Integration Sessions post-journey to help Amy ground her insights. Some highlights she found helpful include:
Somatic anchoring: Breath, gentle movement and listening to her journey playlist to revisit peak moments without overwhelm
Action prompts: Asking, “How will I embody this insight in my next conversation, meal or meeting?”
Creative expression: Amy painted the dragon-diamond vision
Three weeks later she reported:
Improved boundaries without guilt
Heightened joy in mundane tasks (“folding laundry feels lighter!”)
Ongoing dream guidance echoing the journey themes
Psilocybin, paired with skilled facilitation, preparation and integration, has the potential to be a powerful catalyst for the lasting change.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Cate Ritter is an experienced Licensed Psilocybin Facilitator and Transformational Coach in Bend, Oregon.
Drawing on extensive training in psychedelic facilitation and transformational coaching, Cate’s committed to creating a safe and supportive environment.
Her approach is tailored to align with the unique goals of those she works with, ensuring that every journey is empowering and deeply personal.
DISCLAIMER: This information is provided for educational purposes only and should not be considered medical, mental health, or legal advice.
References:
Johnson, M., Richards, W., & Griffiths, R. (2008). Human hallucinogen research: guidelines for safety. J Psychopharmacol.
Oregon Health Authority. (2023). Psilocybin Services Licensing Guide.